Empty Inside
by MayanMoonFlower
Summary: She's empty.


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Karin, sat in a small park that was near their hotel they were staying at. She was silently watching the mother and daughter in happiness, sadness, and in envy.

She felt at peace as she watched a happy moment being played out right in front of her red eyes. She smiled to herself as she heard their joyful laughter. It was a beautiful sight to behold as a mother and child played together, it was clear to her that they had a strong bond, and that the mother truly did love being a parent. Karin then placed a hand on her stomach and looked onto them once more.

She felt sad as she thought back to her childhood. Her father had been killed in the ninja war when she was far too young to remember anything. She wishes she could have known him.

Her mother had died when she was 7 but she remembers small details. She remembers her hugs, her kisses, and stories of a clan she had mentioned long ago. She can't seem to remember the clan's name but her mother told her that they were descendants of a every strong people with amazing healing ability's.

Her mother was a great woman.

Who cared too much about other she thought bitterly.

Karin gave out a sigh. _'Yet I could not have asked for a better mother than her.'_

 _A mother._ She thought out again in sadness.

Her hand that rested on her stomach gripped onto her purple shirt as she could still not tear away from the view of the mother and child, who were still playing.

She felt envy. Her hand scraped harshly at the skin on her smooth stomach.

She quickly turned away looking down at herself.

' _I will always be incomplete….'_ She closed her eyes and took in a sharp breath. She could feel the tears starting to form.

' _I will never…..'_ She felt a stabbing pain in her heart and a few drops of her tears fell down her cheek. Her hand still clutching onto her skin in a tight fury. Surly it will be leaving a few marks as she let go.

' _I will always be empty…..I will never…be able to….'_ She couldn't handle it anymore; she quickly stood up and ran. She ran from the park as fast as she could. She didn't care if people stared at her as she let her tears fall down. She didn't care; the pain in her heart was too much. She's been holding her tears in since the day her mother had died.

It was painful; it was all just too painful in knowing that she will never be a…. _mother_.

She will never know the joys of holding a child, raising a child, and creating an unbreakable bond between them.

She will never feel a kick in her stomach, she will never get to see an ultra sound of a child, and she will never hear the heartbeat of a child.

But not just any child but her child, a baby, a baby she would love…..and will love her back. A baby that she would protect forever, a child she will hold, a teen she would talk to, a son or daughter that could….

She was still running: she ran to the edge of town until she could see the dark tall trees that surrounded the village. She made her way inside making sure she hid her chakra.

She then fell; she wrapped her arms around her stomach and cried harder and louder.

Her brown glasses now stained with her tears and her fiery red hair hiding her lovely face.

She will always be empty she thought again.

"This is all Orochimaru's fault," She whispered bitterly to herself. "If he….if he would have left me and not put all those chemicals inside of me…then I…,"

She pounded her fist to the ground as she remembered that dreadful day.

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 _"_ _Kukuku," The snake man laughed as she woke up to see the bright lights she had seen earlier that day._

 _'_ _He's done?'_

 _"_ _Oh, no dear Karin-chan,"_

 _She growled as he said her name. She was currently on the exam table, her wrist locked in place._

 _"_ _It seems my experiment had a slight effect on you," He smiled._

 _"_ _What," She glared at him. She was used to all the experiments, of all the pain and suffering but his experiments never left a side effect on her. She knew her body would heal in due time. "How do you know?"_

 _He came closer to her and laid his white palm on her stomach. "I fear," He spoke in a mocking tone. "That I_ _accidentally_ _destroyed something very important."_

 _Karin shivered in disgust as he let his hand on the same place. "Tell me what you did, I will fix your mistake."_

 _She knew he hated it when she mocked him in his failed experiments._

 _"_ _Karin-chan," His eyes smiled at her. "I don't think you could ever fix this,"_

 _He leaned down at her and whispered in her ear. "I destroyed the only thing that makes a woman a woman,"_

 _"_ _W-What!"_

 _"_ _I fear you cannot have children," He pulled away and smiled at her red destroyed eyes. "Your womb was destroyed by the chemical I tested out."_

 _"_ _You bastared," She spat out. "You fucking monster!"_

 _"_ _Kukukuku," The man unlocked her restrains and waited for her to do something. Anything._

 _Karin slowly sat up a bit dizzy but with all her force she jumped of her table and walked away from the operation room._

 _'_ _I will not cry.'_

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She frowned at the ground and cursed her life.

"He destroyed me," She bit her lip until she tasted a familiar metallic flavor.

 _'_ _Blood,'_

Her child would have had her blood, her eyes or maybe their father's eyes, a child that would hold a piece of her and _him_.

Hold their love and unity.

But as Karin looks at the ground she is clouded with more sad thoughts, what man will want her if she couldn't even bear a child?

She will never have a child, and she will never have the love of …... The man she loves will certainly want a child…..but she can't bear one. She can't give the gift of life…..so _he_ will never truly accept her…. _he_ would leave her… _.he_ would go with another, someone who can give _him_ a son or a daughter.

A strong, brave, and handsome boy…..

Or maybe,

A beautiful, smart, and kind daughter….

A son and daughter she will never be able to give _him_ …..

' _He would leave me…'_

She will always be alone.

Karin picked herself up from the ground and looked forward, _'I will always be empty…won't I….,'_

Her hand once again found its way to her stomach. _'I would have loved you, I would have taken great care of you…I…..I would have held you with everything I have….I would have healed all your wounds….'_ Her tears are once more present on her face. _'I would…..'_

She shakes her head harshly and wipes her tears in anger.

' _Stop it Karin, you have to accept it! You will never be a mother….you have to accept that you will always be empty…'_

She walked out of the forest as she lifted her black hood up to hide her face.

And as she walks back the only word in her mind was. _'_

 _Empty….'_

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